We buried my father yesterday, then held a wonderful celebration of his life at which I delivered the following tribute. It was an upbeat affair, just as he would have wanted. So many wonderful friends attended and greeted us afterwards to share their favorite story about him. It meant so much to all of us, especially my mother, that his enumerable friends so kindly expressed their condolences. We all miss him alot already. It’s back to work tomorrow — just as Dad would have wanted, but we pause this day to honor the loss of another member of the "greatest generation", A. Ray Edsel.

(From left to right: Monuments Man Horace Apgar, World War II Veteran A. Ray Edsel, me,
Senator John Warner,Monuments Man James Reeds, and Monuments Man Bernard Taper)
A TRIBUTE TO MY FATHER
A. RAY EDSEL
(1926 - 2008)
His given name was Alpha Ray, but his friends often called him A. Ray. Some even referred to him as “THE Ray” stating that there was no other like him. It was a little confusing for a young boy growing up hearing his dad called all these names…Alpha Ray, A. Ray, “THE Ray”…but it was easy to see the esteem and affection so many people had for him.
As kids, we all were impressed with his mastery of foreign languages. We would be awakened on school mornings by exotic phrases such as “hobba hobba e so gay”, and “Jo toe nigh”, no doubt a hold-over from his days as a Marine. The first of these defied translation; the second meant “Drop your rifle!”
Dad had other interesting phrases that he used throughout his life. For all his varied abilities, patient reading of instructions on how to assemble toys on Christmas Eve wasn’t one of them. While spying on him from the closet one Christmas Eve, I could here him say repeatedly, “Well I’ll be go to hell”. Only sometime later did I realize that “I’ll be go to hell” wasn’t one of the instructions.
Dad left an indelible legacy on the investment banking community in Dallas. From the time he opened Smith Barney’s first office in the southwest in 1960, he spent almost 40 years hiring, molding, and nurturing one great talent after another, both men and women. He successfully navigated the precarious undertaking of combining business relationship with friendship. It was second nature to him.
In the course of his career a number of the other brokerage firms in Dallas were at one time or another run by someone he hired and trained. Many others had long distinguished careers at Smith Barney. I recall one such fellow who was aggressively recruited out of business school by both Smith Barney and another prized competitor years later telling me: “During the interview with your dad a secretary stepped in to tell him that one of his biggest customers was on the phone and wanted to speak with him. After confirming that it wasn’t an emergency he told her that he would return the call because he was in a very important interview. I thought to myself, “that’s the kind of man I want to work for—and I did.”
Dad took endless pleasure in the success of those he hired yet I never heard him accept an ounce of credit. It was part of his philosophy which he instilled in us: when people see you doing all you can to help yourself, they will then help you. Dad loved helping others.
In the years after Smith Barney, Dad continued his lifelong love of reading, always seeking new ideas that might provide a good investment. And our significant others always enjoyed hearing about them. What better way to make an impression on your son’s girlfriend than introducing her to the upside of an investment in windmills! Truth was, they DID find it interesting because Dad’s youthful enthusiasm and self-deprecating humor captivated everyone.
The last few years threw one malady after another at him, but he never faltered. Instead, he seemed even happier, his determination to overcome the illness du jour strengthened. Most days he would come into the office with his lunch, and then begin his day by offering some of it to anyone there. Only a few months ago he walked up to one of my assistants and said, “How about half of this wonderful apple? I’d give you the other half too but I ate it.” His life long love of people grew even more. On our weekly visits to Café Pacific he regularly turned a two minute trip to, as he referred to it, the “little boy’s room”, into a series of conversations with every diner in the path of the restroom—in both directions! It was fun to watch.
General Dwight Eisenhower, perhaps history’s greatest leader, wrote the following in a letter to his West Point classmate and friend, Vernon Pritchard, but it equally described the characteristics Dad possessed:
“This is a long tough road we have to travel. The men that can do things are going to be sought out just as surely as the sun rises in the morning. Fake reputations, habits of glib and clever speech, and glittering surface performance are going to be discovered and kicked overboard. Solid, sound leadership, with inexhaustible, nervous energy to spur on the efforts of lesser men, and ironclad determination to face discouragement, risk, and increasing work without flinching, will always characterize the man who has a sure-enough, bang-up fighting unit. Finally, the man has to be able to forget himself and personal fortunes.”
Through all the setbacks of his life, in particular the gradual loss of his health, he never complained. Instead, he became even more focused on helping others by offering an upbeat word or sharing a valuable, perspective-restoring observation from someone who had been a part of an amazing time in our collective history. Even Saturday, before his surgery, his spirit was undiminished. When we arrived at the hospital that morning, we asked him if he’d had any success flirting with the nurses overnight to which he replied, “No, but I’m still tryin’”. It wasn’t surprising to us when, later that day, after he’d left us, each doctor, nurse and assistant in the Intensive Care Unit told us what a privilege it had been for them to get to know Dad, even for the brief time they had cared for him. He was just that kind of guy, that special.
Alpha Ray, A. Ray, “the Ray”, would have wanted you all to know how much he loved you for the great life he was blessed to enjoy. He would want to say “thanks” to the city of Dallas and this community in particular for all the opportunities it provided him to raise a family, build a career, and make so many friends who made his life so meaningful. He would ask all of you to take care of his loving wife, our Mom, in the days ahead. And he’d probably remind each of us that it takes as much effort to be happy as it does the alternative, so leave here with a smile because there’s so much for which to be thankful.
In closing, I want to share with you the words of the great poet Khalil Gibran:
“Let not the waves of the sea separate us now, and the years you have spent in our midst become a memory. You have walked among us a spirit, and your shadow has been a light upon our faces. Much have we loved you. But speechless was our love, and with veils has it been veiled. Yet now it cries aloud unto you, and would stand revealed before you. And ever has it been that love knows NOT its own depth until the hour of separation.”